financial corner

After my last post which, believe me, only scratched the surface of the things we haven’t had the time or money to do around the house, I thought I should get constructive about the problem instead of just grumbling about it.

So, without further ado, I offer the following proven money-saving techniques:

1. Have a child! You will feel the savings immediately as you stop paying the high cost of entertainment outside the home. Movies, plays, concerts, dinners out, even the cable bill – what you don’t have time for, you won’t pay for. Invite your friends over for a paper-bag puppet show! Bonus savings: as a parent, eliminate your need for an alarm clock and spend that $12.99 per decade somewhere else.

2. Share belts! Put on a few extra pounds, then borrow your husband’s belts instead of buying new ones for yourself. Saves on self-esteem, too.

3. Drop your iPod one too many times till it breaks. Then, turn a deaf, if wistful, ear to the siren song of iTunes.

4. Nobody likes it when their dog dies, and I don’t recommend pursuing this as a money-saving strategy. But an unexpected demise can free up funds previously committed to kibble, tennis balls, and vet appointments, not to mention, depending on how doting a boss you were, grooming, specially-baked bone-shaped cookies, T-shirts, canine Halloween costumes and other accessories. Of course, you will have to weigh these savings against your natural inclination to memorialize your beloved pet. Will you purchase a special urn for its ashes, or perhaps an inscribed stepping stone for the garden? Our family has chosen this economical method: store ashes in glass jar on living room bookshelf, where child occasionally spots them and asks “What’s in there?”

5. Think back: did you buy a croquet set as a joint purchase with your best friend many years ago, when you were young and single and living in the same city with nothing better to do than whack balls through wickets on weekends? Good! Even though she kept the set when you moved away, still think of it as half yours and you won't spend money on the redundant purchase of another one.

There, your wallet should be feeling fatter already.

Now for that other pesky barrier to getting things done: Time. That's a tougher proposition. They say you don’t ever find time; you have to make it. But so far, the only way I’ve come up with to “make” time is to steal it – from your employer, from your kids, from yourself. But don’t worry, Jiminy Cricket, this kind of stealing is (sometimes) legal and (most always) socially acceptable, so go ahead and do it. It’s the only way you’ll get to blog.