insomnia

Indeed, I am the opposite of somnolent. My hamster brain is spinning indefatigably in its pointless little wheel of anxiety, and there's nothing constructive I can do to put it to rest since it is the middle of the night. You know, that time we as a society have set aside for separation from consciousness and productivity, and which nature abets by turning out the big light so as not to illuminate any distractions. So I cannot, for instance, go to my office and actually do any of the things that I am lying awake worrying I am not going to have enough time to do before I get on a plane Friday morning. I know worry is supposed to have a productive function in that dwelling on a problem can lead to strategizing a solution, but the longer I lie awake fretting, the more my worry expands to encompass dread of how tired and nonfunctional I will be tomorrow due to not being able to sleep tonight. Excellent work, brain, take the rest of the night off! At this point there is no hope but to get up out of bed and try to distract or deflect or defer or dsomething this restless energy.

Here's a little inspiration:

Iris at five months. Warm milk did the trick for her back then. Now, she likes me to pat her back and cover her feet. All I require is a horizontal position and a quiet mind. Back to bed now to see how it goes.